Old soldiers never die. Young ones do.

Here in my heart, I am Helen; I'm Aspasia and Hero, at least. I'm Judith, and Jael, and Madame de Sta"el; I'm Salome, moon of the East. Here in my soul I am Sappho; Lady Hamilton oracle am I, as well. In me R'ecamier vies with Kitty O'Shea, With Dido, and Eve, and poor nell. I'm all of the glamorous ladies At whose beckoning history shook. But you are a man, and see only my pan, So I stay at home with a book. -- Dorothy Parker

Windows NT source code now available... download WIN2000.BAS now! community -- From a Slashdot.org post

You will be recognized and honored articles, links - sql server, oracle, db2, xml as a community leader.

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Be free and open and breezy! Enjoy! Things won't get any better so get used to it.

"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none." -- Shakespeare

It is thecostumer by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either. -- Mark Twain

Hear about... the swinger who labelled his little black book "Future Shack"?

Calculon: I'm programmed to be very busy.

Back in '80 or '81 the workers were rioting in Gdansk and there were fears that the Soviets would invade Poland to put down the demonstrations. Foreign correspondents were curious as to just what the Poles would do if they were invaded. They asked, "What will you do if the East Germans invade from the West and the Soviets invade from the East? Who will you fight first?" To which the Poles replied, "Why, we will fight the Germans first. Business before pleasure."

You two ought to be more careful--your love could drag on for years and years.

There is nothing wrong with screwing everyone in oci - education & training sight. Boring your friends about it is the sin. -- Mama Liz

Morris left for a two-day business trip to Chicago. He was only a few blocks from his house, when he realized that he had left the airplane tickets on his bureau top. He returned and quietly entered the house. His wife, in her skimpiest negligee, was standing at the sink washing the breakfast dishes. She looked so inviting that he tiptoed up behind her, reached out, and squeezed her breast. "Leave only one quart of milk," she said. "Morris won't be here for breakfast tomorrow."

In the days of old, When Knights were bold, And women were too cautious; Oh, those gallant days, When women were women, And men were really obnoxious.

Microsoft gives you Windows... Linux gives you the whole house.

Individualists unite!

Remember when you were a kid and the boys didn't like the girls? Only sissies liked girls? What I'm trying to tell you is that nothing's changed. You think boys grow out of not liking girls, but we don't grow out of it. We just grow horny. That's the problem. We mix up liking pussy for liking girls. Believe reeconveyors me, one couldn't have less to do with the other. -- Jules Feiffer

Grelb's Reminder: Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average drivers.

There isn't room enough in this dress for both of us!

"I hate it when best-data-warehouse-online my foot falls asleep during the day cause that means it's going to be up all night." -- Steven Wright

A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, But the sweetness of pitch Couldn't put off the hitch Of impotence, size and aroma.

Motto of the Electrical Engineer: Working computer hardware is a lot like an erect penis: it stays up as long as you don't fuck with it.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Expense Accounts, n.: sequoia 2000 ftp server home page Corporate food stamps.

A son takes his Italian immigrant father to his first baseball game. It happens that it's Old Timer's Day at Yankee stadium and all the baseball greats are there. The son escorts his father to box seats right on the third base line and seats him with beer and a Yankees cap. The first batter up is Mickey Mantle. On the second pitch he swings that bat and CRACK! The ball ricochets off the wall for a double. The crowd goes crazy and the father stands up and yells, "Runna Mickey! Runna Mickey!" The next batter up is Joe DiMaggio. The pitcher, pitching him carefully, works him to a 3-2 count and just misses the outside corner. "Ball four!" yells the umpire and Joe tosses his bat aside and begins to walk to first base. The father yells out, "Runna Joe! Runna Joe!" "No, no, Pop," corrects his son. "He got four balls. He walks." And the old man clenches his fist and says solemnly, "Walka proud Joe. Walka proud."

"One thing they don't tell you about doing experimental physics is that sometimes you must work under adverse conditions ... like a state of sheer terror." -- W. K. Hartmann

A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply, and subtract. But this output can be No more than debris, If the input was short of exact. -- Gigo

A man went to a doctor to have his penis enlarged. Well, this particular procedure involved splicing a baby elephant's trunk onto the man's penis. Overjoyed, the man went out with his best girl to a very fancy restaurant. After cocktails, the man's penis crept out of his pants, felt around the table, grabbed a hard roll and quickly disappeared under the tablecloth. The girl was startled and exclaimed, "What was that?" Suddenly the penis came back, took another hard roll and just as quickly disappeared. The girl was silent for a moment, then finally said, "I don't believe I saw what I think I just saw... can you do that again?" With a bit of an uncomfortable smile the man replied, "Honey, I'd like to, but I don't think my ass can take another hard roll!"

dicker, v: What you do to java upgrade program your wife if arguing doesn't work.

Once, adv.: Enough. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

It is a sad commentary on today's society that this fortune has to be classified as "offensive" simply because it contains the word "fuck".

A blind rabbit was hopping through the woods, tripping over logs and crashing into trees. At the same time, a blind snake was slithering through the same forest, with identical results. They chanced to collide head-on in a clearing. "Please excuse me, sir, I'm blind and I bumped into you accidentally," apologized the rabbit. "That's quite all right," replied the snake, "I have the same problem!" "All my life I've been wondering what I am," said the rabbit, "Do you think you could help me find out?" "I'll try," said the snake. He gently coiled himself around the rabbit. "Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have a little fluffy tail and long ears. You're... hmmm... you're probably a bunny rabbit!" "Great!" said the rabbit. "Thanks, I really owe you one!" "Well," replied the snake, "I don't know what I am, either. Do you suppose you could try and tell me?" The rabbit ran his paws all over the snake. "Well, you're low, cold and slimey..." And, as he ran one paw underneath the snake, "and you have no balls. You must be an attorney!"

A cowboy, his horse and his dog were captured by hostile Indians. This wasn't really a problem for the animals as the Indians can always use them, but the cowboy is informed that he will be burned at the stake the following sunrise. That evening, the Indian chief tells the cowboy that he can one last wish, within reason, of course, before meeting his fate the following morning. The cowboy replies that all he really wants is to see his faithful dog, Rex, one last time. When the dog is brought by the Indians, the cowboy hugs his companion and whispers something into his ear. At once the dog runs off over the hill. Amazingly enough, a few hours later, he returns, accompanied by some two dozen prostitutes from a nearby town. Needless to say, the braves are delighted and as a reward offer the cowboy his dog to keep him company through the rest of the night. When the dog is brought forth the cowboy again runs his hand over Rex's head and then bends down to whisper into his embedded linux wins big in linux journal editors' choice awards ear: "This may be my last chance, Rex, so get it right this time -- go into town and get the posse!"

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp. -- Joan Rivers

An anonymous woman we knew Was dozing one day in her pew; When the preacher yelled "Sin!" She said, "Count me in As soon as the service is through."

My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off. -- Alexandre Dumas, pere

Are Women Human? In the year 584, in Lyon, France, 43 Catholic bishops and 20 men representing other bishops, after a lengthy debate, took a vote. The results were 32 thefreecountry.com: free programmers' resources, free webmasters' resources, free security resources yes, 31 no. Women were declared human by one vote.

Beware of the Turing Tar-pit in which everything embedded linux wins big in linux journal editors' choice awards is possible but nothing of interest is easy.

Useful Farsi all articles phrases for Americans traveling to Iran: AUTO ARRAREGH DAVATEMAN MANO SEPAHEH-HAST. It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in the trunk of your car. FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESHAYEH MOHEMA RAJEBEH KESHVAREHMAN. If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital appendages I will gladly reciprocate by betraying my country in public. KHREL, JEPAHEH MANEH VA JAYEH AMRIKAHEY. I will tell you the names and addresses of many American spies traveling as reporters.

Elroy stared at Barb and then leaned quietly over to Shake Tiller and stuck out his hand. "Son," he said. "Tell the truth. It ain't better than fried chicken, is it?" Shake looked solemnly at Elroy, clasping his hand, and said: "I got to be dead honest, Roy." And Elroy said yeah, lay it on him. Shake said slowly, "For a Lesbian who gave up the only real love she ever knew -- weblogs by subject (aka topic) Sister Francis at Our Lady of Victory -- and for a person who can't make it any more with nothing but an electric toothbrush, she's the finest I've ever had." -- Dan Jenkins, "Semi-Tough"

"Saw a sign on a restaurant that said Breakfast, any time -- so I ordered French Toast in the Renaissance. -- articles, links - sql server, oracle, db2, xml Steven Wright

"It's always the same," the girl sighed to her roommate after returning in the wee, small hours. "Afterward, I feel so compromised, so cheap, so soiled... so absolutely wonderful from head to toe!"

In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order. -- Idi Amin Dada

GREAT MOMENTS IN AMERICAN HISTORY #21 -- July 30, 1917 On this day, New York City hotel detectives burst in and caught then- Senator Warren G. Harding in bed with an underage girl. He bought them off with a $20 bribe, and later remarked thankfully, "I thought I wouldn't get out of that under $1000!" Always one to learn from his mistakes, in later years President Harding carried on his affairs in a tiny closet in the White House Cabinet Room while Secret Service men stood lookout.

"I cannot and dba will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions." -- Lillian Hellman

If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong. -- Norm Schryer

It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

UNIX _IS_ user friendly, its just picky about who its friends are.

Pregnancy reference begins with a single sell.

Dear Abby: I just met the most terrific girl and we get along fabulously. I think she's the one for me. There's just one problem: I can't remember from our first date if she told me she had TB or VD. What should I do? --Confused Dear Confused: If she coughs, fuck her.

Nice computers don't go down.

"I don't believe in astrology. But then I'm an Aquarius, and coolabout Aquarians don't believe in astrology." -- James R. F. Quirk

God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to hide the bodies of the slobs we have to kill for pissing us off ...

"Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to reeconveyors be an assignment." George W. Bush January 14, 2001 Quoted in the New York Times.

You have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in contact.

Kirkland, Illinois, law forbids bees to fly over the village or through any of its streets.

You single-handedly fought your way into this hopeless mess.

No woman can call herself free until she can choose java news brief::oci::march issue consciously whether she will or will not be a mother. -- Margaret H. Sanger

A GOOD WAY TO THREATEN somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby." -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

Pardon me, sir, but you've obviously microsoft access form resizer for ms access forms mistaken me for someone who gives a shit.

You are fighting for survival in linuxdevices.com headline news feed your own sweet and gentle way.

The only way you'll ever hear from me is if you're living in the same hell. -- Roy Harper

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

God is Dead -- Nietzsche Nietzsche is tablesi Dead -- God Nietzsche is God -- The Dead

Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.

Chicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire.

community "I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace." George W. Bush October 23, 2000 Spoken in Des Moines, Iowa during campaign address.

"I was playing poker the other night ... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright

Everyone: "Australia, Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you, Amen!" Bruce: "Another two! (Bottles opening.) Any questions?" Bruce: "New-Bruce, are you a Poofter?" Bruce: "Are you a Poofter?" New-Bruce: "No!" Bruce: "No. Right, I just want to remind you of the faculty rules: Rule One!" Everyone: "NO POOFTERS!" Bruce: "Rule Two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way at all -- if there's anybody watching. Rule Three?" Everyone: "NO POOFTERS!" Bruce: "Rule Four, now this term, I don't want to catch anybody not drinking. Rule Five..." Everyone: "NO POOFTERS!" Bruce: "Rule Six, there is NO... Rule Six. Rule Seven..." Everyone: "NO POOFTERS!" Bruce: "Right, that concludes the readin' of the rules, Bruce. This here's the wattle, the emblem of our land. You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand. Amen! -- Monty Python

H. L. Mencken suffers from the hallucination that he is H. L. Mencken -- there is no cure for a disease of that magnitude. -- Maxwell Bodenheim

Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp. oracle export flat file cvs -- Joan Rivers

Two Russian friends happen to meet in Red Square. One of them says, "By the way, did you hear that Romanov died?" "No," replied the other, "I didn't even know he'd been arrested!"

Nasrudin was carrying home a piece of liver and the recipe for liver pie. Suddenly a bird of prey swooped down and snatched the piece of meat from his hand. As the bird flew off, Nasrudin called after it, "Foolish bird! You have the liver, but what can you do with it without the recipe?"

"It's kind of real-time linux software quick reference guide fun to do the impossible." -- Walt Disney

"I quite agree with you," said the Duchess; "and the moral of that is -- `Be what you would seem to be' -- or, if you'd like it put more simply -- `Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.'" -- Lewis Carrol, "Alice in Wonderland"

National Weather Service advice for those threatened by severe thunderstorms: "Go inside a sturdy building java.net - the source for java technology collaboration and stay away from WINDOWS!" -- Ben Bullock

"I support current efforts to make Amtrak more efficient and competitive. I believe these efforts will result in better, more extensive and more reliant rail service for the millions of American who travel by train." George W. Bush September 17, 2000 Quoted by the Associated Press.

A rapturous young fellatrix One day was at work on five pricks. With an unholy cry She whipped out her glass eye: "Tell the boys I can now take on six."

Conceit causes more conversation than wit. -- LaRouchefoucauld

There is a road to freedom. Its milestones are Obedience, Endeavor, Honesty, Order, Cleanliness, Sobriety, Truthfulness, Sacrifice, redhat and love of the Fatherland. -- Adolf Hitler

You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt. -- Ed Meese, on the Hinckley verdict

Confucious say: woman who cooks carrots and pees in it & management articles same pot very unsanitary.

Die meisten Menschen sind käuflich. Die meisten Politiker sind Menschen.

Pardon this fortune. Database under reconstruction.

A man was once heard to boast, That linuxdevices.com influential executives interview series he received a parcel by post, It contained, so we heard, A magnificent turd, And the balls of his grandfather's ghost.

A.I. hackers do it with robots.

Kamikazes do it once.

Sen. Danforth: "There is nothing on the face of the album which would notify you if the record has pornographics material or material glorifying violence?" Tipper Gore: "No, there is nothing that would suggest that to me." Frank Zappa: "I would say that a buzz saw blade between the guy's legs on the album cover is good indication that it's not for little Johnny."

Linux - It is now safe to turn on your computer. -- From a Slashdot.org post

Ladybug, ladybug, Look to your stern! Your house is on fire, Your children will burn! So jump ye and database sing, for The very first time The four lines above Have been put into rhyme. -- Walt Kelly

Lawyers do it to everyone.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. -- Groucho Marx

"If you're asking me whether or not as to the innocence or guilt or if people have free php scripts (thefreecountry.com) had adequate access to the courts in Texas, I believe they have." George W. Bush June 10, 2000 Answer to question posed by an Associated Press reporter.

"The person who runs FEMA [Federal Emergency Management Agency] is someone who must have the trust of the president because the person who runs FEMA really is the first voice oftentimes that someone whose lives have been turned upside down hears from." George W. Bush January 4, 2001 Comment made at press conference.

Rattling around the back of my head is a disturbing image of something I saw at the airport ... Now I'm remembering, those giant piles of computer magazines right next to "People" and "Time" in the airport store. Does it bother anyone else that half the world is being told all of our hard-won secrets of computer technology? Remember how all the lawyers cried foul when "How to Avoid Probate" was published? Are they taking no-fault insurance lying down? No way! But at the current rate it won't be long before there are stacks of the "Transactions on Information Theory" at the A&P checkout counters. Who's going to be impressed with us electrical engineers then? Are we, as the saying goes, giving away the store? -- Robert W. Lucky, IEEE President

In the land of the dark, the Ship of the Sun is driven by the Grateful Dead. -- Egyptian Book of the Dead

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.

As I argued in "Beloved Son", a book about my son Brian and the subject of religious communes and cults, one result of proper early instruction in the methods of rational thought will be to make sudden mindless conversions -- to anything -- less likely. Brian now realizes this and has, after eleven years, left the sect he was associated with. The problem is that once the untrained mind has made a formal commitment to a religious philosophy -- and it does not matter whether that philosophy is generally reasonable and high-minded or utterly bizarre articles, links - sql server, oracle, db2, xml and irrational -- the powers of reason are suprisingly ineffective in changing the believer's mind. -- Steve Allen

"`If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.'" - Zaphod.

You may be recognized soon. Hide.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sep. 22) Get it in writing. Be careful. You are surrounded by lechers and assholes; birds of a feather flock together. Trust no one. People will not be offended, because they've come to recognize you for the paranoid neurotic that you are. Your dentures are loose.

In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space Let free script hosting: free cgi hosting, mailing list hosting, search engine hosting, message board hosting (thefreecountry.com) superscripts and subscripts go their ways. Our asymptotes no longer out of phase, We shall encounter, counting, face to face. -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"

I was a cock-teaser java news brief::oci::october issue at Rooster Rama. I used to enrage the bantams before the big bouts. -- Firesign Theatre

"Wow, so this is a real TV station, huh." -Fry "Well, it's a Fox affiliate." -TV worker guy "What are you showing right now?" -Fry "'Single Female Lawyer.' It's the season finale. Wanna watch?" -TV worker guy "I dunno. That's a chick show. I prefer programs of the genre, World's Blankiest Blank." -Fry "She is wearing the world's shortiest skirt." -TV worker guy "I'm in." -Fry

Save Soviet Jewry -- Win Valuable Prizes!!!!

"It's great to have a friend who appreciates an earnest discussion of ideas." -Calvin

It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue. -- Voltaire

"In a way they were right, the basics of operating systems - what's in dave's spare room? and by extension the Linux kernel - were well understood by the early 70s; anything after that has been to some degree an exercise in self-gratification." -- Linus Torvalds (Open Sources, 1999 O'Reilly and Associates)

MOCK APPLE PIE (No Apples Needed) Pastry to two crust 9-inch pie 36 RITZ Crackers 2 cups water 2 cups sugar 2 teaspoons cream of tartar 2 tablespoons lemon juice Grated rind of one lemon Butter or margarine Cinnamon Roll out bottom crust of pastry and fit into 9-inch pie plate. Break RITZ Crackers coarsely into pastry-lined plate. Combine water, sugar and cream of tartar in saucepan, boil gently for 15 minutes. Add lemon juice and rind. Cool. Pour this syrup over Crackers, dot generously with butter or margarine and sprinkle with cinnamon. Cover with top crust. Trim and flute edges together. Cut slits in top crust to let steam escape. Bake in a hot oven (425 F) 30 to 35 minutes, until crust is crisp and golden. Serve warm. Cut into 6 to 8 slices. -- Found lurking on a Ritz Crackers box

Liberals are the first to dump you if you con them or get into trouble. Conservatives are better. They never run out on you. -- Joseph "Crazy Joe" Gallo

Hugh Hefner is a virgin.

A team playing baseball in Dallas Called te umpire blind out of malice. While this worthy had fits The team made eight hits flat file oracle extract text cvs table And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.

if in danger, fear or doubt... run in circles, scream and shout!

"Adopted kids are such a pain -- you have to teach them how to look like you ..." -- Gilda Radner

A girl camper once had an affair With a fellow all covered with hair. When she gave him his hat She realized that She'd been had by Smokey the Bear.

Then there was the girl whose boyfriend didn't smoke, drink or swear, and never, ever made a pass at her. He also made his own dresses.

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child -- if you parboil them first for seven hours, they javahispano always come out tender. -- W. C. Fields

My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off. -- Alexandre Dumas, pere

Wenn ich jetzt sterben müsste, würde ich sagen Das war alles? und Ich habe es nicht richtig verstanden! und Es war ein bisschen laut! -- Kurt Tucholsky

"I don't see many shades of gray in the war and terror. Either you're with us or you're against us. And it's a struggle between good and it's a struggle between evil." George W. Bush February 8, 2002 Speaking in Denver, CO at the 2002 Cattle Industry Annual Convention. (Source: C-SPAN)

If Jesus Christ came to this town, people would say, great guy; java technology terrible carpenter. -- Gene Kirkwood, on Hollywood

Two buddies had been out drinking for hours when their money finally ran out. "I have an idea," croaked Al. "Lesh go over to my housh and borrow shum money from my wife." The two of them reeled into Al's living room, snapped on the light, and lo and behold, there was Al's wife making love on the sofa to another man. This state of affairs considerably unnerved Al's friend but didn't seem to affect the husband. "Shay, dear, you have any money for your ever-lovin' hushban'?" he asked. "Yes, yes," she snapped. "Take my purse from the mantle, and for Pete's sake, turn off those lights." Outside they examined the purse, and Al proudly announced, "There's enough here for a pint for you and a pint for me. Pretty good, eh, old buddy?" "But, Al," protested his friend, somewhat sobered by the spectacle he'd just witnessed, "what about that fellow back there with your wife?" "The hell with him," replied Al. "Let him buy his own pint."

Bubba, Jim Bob, and Leroy were fishing out on the lake last November, and, when Bubba tipped his head back to empty the Jim Beam, he fell out of the boat into the lake. Jim Bob and Leroy pulled him back in, but as Bubba didn't look too good, they started up the Evinrude and headed back to the pier. By the time they got there, Bubba was turning kind of blue, and his teeth were chattering like all get out. Jim Bob said, "Leroy, go run up to the pickup and get Doc Pritchard on the CB, and ask him what we should do". Doc Pritchard, after hearing a description of the case, said "Now, Leroy, listen closely. Bubba is in great danger. He has hy-po-thermia. Now what you need to do is get all them wet clothes off of Bubba, and take your clothes off, and pile your clothes and jackets on top of him. Then you all get under that pile, and hug up to Bubba real close so that you warm him up. You understand me Leroy? You gotta warm Bubba up, or he'll die." Leroy and the Doc 10-4'ed each other, and Leroy came back to the pier. "Wh-Wh-What'd th-th-the d-d-doc s-s-say L-L-Leroy?", Bubba chattered. "Bubba, Doc says you're gonna die."

"I love this planet. I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring." -Bender

FIGHTING WORDS Say my love is easy had, Say I'm bitten raw with pride, Say I am too often sad -- Still behold me at your side. Say I'm neither brave nor young, Say I woo and coddle care, Say the devil touched my tongue -- Still you have my heart to wear. But say my verses do not scan, And I get me another man! -- Dorothy Parker

"I've seen, I SAY, I've seen better coolabout heads on a mug of beer" -- Senator Claghorn

Seduced, shaggy Samson snored. She scissored short. Sorely shorn, Soon shackled slave, Samson sighed, Silently scheming, Sightlessly seeking Some savage, spectacular suicide. -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"

"Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western religion, Rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western science." -- Gary Zukav, "The Dancing Wu Li Masters"

Zippity doo dah, zippity ay, I just gave my sister's cherry away! To a couple of truckers from Erie P.A., Zippity doo dah, zippity ay. -- John Valby

"I'm gonna be a famous hero just like Neil Armstrong and those other brave guys no one ever heard of." -Fry

I'm sorry I database missed. -- Squeaky Fromme

Red Hat Linux 10.0 RALEIGH-DURHAM, NC -- HypeNewsWire -- Red Hat, the producer of the most popular Linux distribution with over 25 million estimated users, is proud to announce the availability of Red Hat Linux 10.0. The latest version contains the new Linux 6.2 kernel, the Z Window System 2.0, full support for legacy Windows 3.x/9x/200x/NT software apps, and more. Copies of Red Hat Linux 10.0 will be available in stores on CD-ROM, DVD-ROM, or GNUDE (GNU Digital Encoding) disks within the next week. Compaq, Dell, Gateway, and several other large computer manufacturers have announced that they will offer computer systems with Red Hat 10.0 pre-installed. "We can sell systems with Red Hat pre-installed for considerably less than systems with Microsoft ActiveWindows 2001. Overall, Red Hat Linux's superior quality, low price, and modest system requirements puts Windows to shame," one Dell spokesperson said at last week's LinDex convention.

How can java news brief::oci::march issue you say that the world isn't Jewish, when the sun's real name is Sol?

"The basic publication series for the IETF is the RFC series. RPF once stood for 'Request for Comments,' but since documents published as RFCs have generally gone through an extensive review process before publication, RFC is now best known understood to mean 'RFC' " -- Scott Bradner (Open Sources, 1999 O'Reilly and Associates)

"`That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.'" embedded linux wins big in linux journal editors' choice awards - Marvin's first ever compliment about anybody.

Millions of sensible people are too high-minded to concede that politics is almost always the choice of the lesser evil. "Tweedledum and Tweedledee," they say, "I will not vote." Having abstained, they are presented with a President who appoints the people who are going to rummage around in their lives for the next four years. Consider all the people who sat home in a stew in 1968 rather than vote for Hubert Humphrey. They showed Humphrey. Those people who taught Hubert Humphrey a lesson will still be enjoying the Nixon Supreme Court when Tricia and Julie begin to find silver threads among the gold and the black. -- Russel Baker, "Ford without Flummery"

Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.

Domestic happiness and faithful friends.

Don Ameche: I didn't know you had a cousin Penelope, Bill! Was she pretty? W.C.: Well, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of bad road. She had so many gold teeth, Don, she use to have to sleep with her head in a safe. She died in Bolivia. Don: Oh Bill, it must be hard to lose a relative. W.C.: It's almost impossible. -- W.C. Fields, "The Further Adventures of Larson E. Whipsnade and other Tarradiddles"

A man goes to a tailor to try on a new custom-made suit. The first thing he notices is that the arms are too long. "No problem," says the tailor. "Just bend them at the elbow and hold them out in front of you. See, now it's fine." "But the collar is up around my ears!" "It's nothing. Just hunch your back up a little ... no, a little more ... that's it." "But I'm stepping on my cuffs!" the man cries in desperation. "Nu, bend you knees a little to take up the slack. There you go. Look in the mirror -- the suit fits perfectly." So, twisted like a pretzel, the man lurches out onto the street. Reba and Florence see him go by. "Oh, look," says Reba, "that poor man!" "Yes," says Florence, "but what a articles, links - sql server, oracle, db2, xml beautiful suit." -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"

Nine-track tapes and seven-track tapes And tapes without any tracks; Stretchy tapes and snarley tapes And tapes mixed up on the racks -- Take hold of the tape And pull off the strip, And then you'll be sure Your tape drive will skip. -- Uncle Colonel's Cursory Rhymes

Wer im Schlachthaus sitzt, sollte nicht mit Schweinen werfen!

The First Commandment for Technicians: Beware the lightning that lurketh in the undischarged capacitor, lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most untechnician-like manner.

Chicago, n.: Where the dead still vote ... early and often!

"Suppose I want to take over the world. Simplicity says I should just take over mainframe extra: the resilient db2 the world by myself." -- Larry Wall (Open Sources, 1999 O'Reilly and Associates)

Sex is nobody's business but the three people involved.